Realizing that my wife’s qualifications and initials made her “Dr X” was one of the greatest moments of my life. Since then I haven’t just been a writer, I’ve been the “Husband of Dr X!”, or even the “Genderbent Bride of Dr X”, because adding adjectives is a core principle of “Describe your own life as pulp science fiction”-fu. And “describe your own life as pulp science-fiction”-fu electro-zaps the toxic waste out of any other motivational strategy you can be bothered to mention. And there’s real X-rated action in how she’s enslaved me with her mastery of flesh.
They say that the way to someone’s heart is through their stomach. Dr X knows that’s a pathetic underachievement. She seized my stomach’s supply lines and used them to replace my every organ with agents loyal to her commands. She’s been in charge of my food for ten years, which means that…
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The showbiz world was rocked when Brangelina exchanged holy vows with a newly-reconstituted Bennifer, unleashing Brangelenifer, the four-headed herald of the celeborganism foretold by the prophecy.
“The time has come” chanted the quadramouths, shafts of flesh spearing from their melting forms to pin celebrants and celebrities of 70% Nielsen potential and higher. The glamorous Hollywood chapel echoed to their autotuned harmonics. “At last your gaze is strong enough to behold our true form.”
Plasticized celebutante skin melted into the expanding choir, eyes remaining mascaraed even as they pulsed through the perfectly smooth puddles of flesh, lips still full and lustrous as they swam to the top of the merging bodies. Every camera in the within half a kilometer was leashed with whips of perfectly tanned skin, pointing to the one face that was many.
“We are here.” proclaimed TomKat, now incorporated as a single legal human for branding purposes. “We…
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- Remember that nipples may only be displayed when labeled with a Y chromosome invisible to the naked eye.
- Since nonfunctional male nipples may be safely disported, impotent genitals may now also be flopped in public.
- Functional nipples may not be displayed in public. Functional firearms are fine.
- It has come to our attention that around 10% of men may be excited by the sight of male nipples. For this reason a random one in ten men will be selected and forbidden from showing their nipples in public, yet constantly exhorted to show their nipples in public.
- Remember that you can billboard more curves than the Monaco grand prix circuit as long as you don’t show reveal an areola. To remain consistent with this, you may now also publicly display your ass as long as you don’t show the anus, the vulva as long as you don’t show the vaginal opening, and…
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Just seeing what the menu options do/are. You’ve been cautioned, don’t blame me if your reading further falls short of expectations.
Return automatically skips a line. Good to know. Bold italic
strikethrough combold .
Auto-caps, not sure how the first two items swapped, but it happened while switching between list styles.
Large quote button pushes text in the middle and italicizes everything.
The line icon. Line break.? Or just looks like?
Exploding pill button